You can also refer to our video on 7 mistakes preventing you from reaching a band 7 in Writing Task 2.
Question: Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Mistake 1: Not enough paragraphs
This is an easy mistake to make, so let’s take a closer look at the band descriptors to see why paragraphing is so important.
Coherence and cohesion
Band 8 | Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately |
Band 7 | Paragraphing is generally used effectively to support overall coherence, and the sequencing of ideas within a paragraph is generally logical |
Band 6 | Paragraphing may not always be logical and/or the central topic may not always be clear |
Band 5 | Paragraphing may be inadequate or missing |
We can see that only 2 paragraphs have been used – one, very long paragraph with a number of ideas squeezed in, and a single sentence paragraph to conclude. This essay has inadequate paragraphing and matches the band 5 descriptor.
Since the dawn of times wild animals are kept in zoos all over world. This is a controversial issue. At present, zoos are tourist attraction in many countries and need wild animals to attract visitors. I beleve that they should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative places to see them. This essay will discuss both sides and an opinion will be put forth. There are many good reasons to not build zoos in our cities. 1) First of all, god’s precius gifts need to live in their natural habitat. Furthermore, zoos are no place for wild things. If animals need to be cared for, they should be looked after in theier natural habitat in game parks or wildlife reserves. Goverments should look after the precious wild animals at their country and should close down zoos that profit for them. 2) Another valid reason to support this view is that people can see wild animals on the internet, or in books. They don’t need to visit htem in cages where they are sick or dying. Moreover, These zoos try to make money from animals misery and they don’t care of the animals welfare. A recent research in Harvard shows that 89% of all wild animals die in cages. 3) In addition to this, we should allow animals to live in the wild. They can be healthy in their own habitat, they can hunt and have normal behaviour. They cannot do this in a zoo. In the future, if man wants to see wild animals, we must travel to their country and see them in the wild in their enviroment and not ours.
In a nutshell people believe that zoos are good places to keep wild animals, I feel that we do not need zoos anymore and we can look at wild animals on the internet or travell to there and we can be happy for these wild creature.
Keep the following in mind when responding to Writing Task 2:
Use paragraphs for each idea.
Leave a space between each paragraph.
When we use paragraphs with a clear and central topic, the essay becomes easier to follow and understand.
Since the dawn of times wild animals are kept in zoos all over world. This is a controversial issue. At present, zoos are tourist attraction in many countries and need wild animals to attract vistors. I beleve that they should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative places to see them. This essay will discuss both sides and an opinion will be put forth.
There are many good reasons to not build zoos in our cities. First of all, god’s precius gifts need to live in their natural habitat. Furthermore, zoos are no place for wild things. If animals need to be cared for, they should be looked after in theier natural habitat in game parks or wildlife reserves. Goverments should look after the precious wild animals at their country and should close down zoos that profit for them. Another valid reason to support this view is that people can see wild animals on the internet, or in books. They don’t need to visit htem in cages where they are sick or dying. Moreover, these zoos try to make money from animals misery and they don’t care of the animals welfare. A recent research in Harvard shows that 89% of all wild animals die in cages.
In addition to this, we should allow animals to live in the wild. They can be healthy in their own habitat, they can hunt and have normal behaviour. They cannot do this in a zoo. In the future, if man wants to see wild animals, we must travel to their country and see them in the wild in their enviroment and not ours.
In a nutshell people believe that zoos are good places to keep wild animals, I feel that we do not need zoos anymore. We can look at wild animals on the internet or travell to there and we can be happy for these wild creatures.
Mistake 2: Incorrect format
Writing Task 2 must be written in an essay format using paragraphs to break up your ideas. This will help to structure your essay in a way that is easy to understand. You should not use sub-headings, bullet points or numbers.
Make sure your response includes the following:
Introduction
Body paragraphs
Conclusion
But avoid using the following to structure your essay:
Bullet points
Sub-headings
Numbers
Mistake 3: Partially addressing the question
Take time to read the question carefully and decide how many parts are in the question. Let’s take a look at the question below. You are asked to discuss two viewpoints and give your own opinion.
So, to fully address the question, you need to discuss view 1 and view 2 in separate paragraphs and finally, give your own opinion.
If you fail to answer the main parts of the question, your essay will be incomplete.
Question:
Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Keep the following in mind when answering the question:
Read the question carefully and decide how many parts must be addressed
Answer all parts of the question
Look for plurals – For example, ‘problems’ – more than one problem must be presented
Look for ‘and’ – For example, the individual and the society
Make sure your opinion is very clear, use a separate paragraph
Don’t only present one view, when you have been asked to present both
Mistake 4: Presenting an unclear position
If you present an unclear position in Writing Task 2, this can affect your final band score. Make sure you decide on a position and maintain it throughout your response. If you discuss what ‘some’ people think and what ‘other’ people think, you have not yet expressed your opinion. Make sure the examiner knows what you think.
Keep the following in mind when writing your essay:
Decide on your opinion and present it clearly
Use personal pronouns to express your opinion
Don’t change your opinion during the essay
Mistake 5: Spelling errors and typos
Spelling plays a major role in written communication, so you must spell correctly. Remember that IELTS on computer does not have spell-check. A ‘typo’ is considered a spelling error. Why don’t you turn off ‘spell-check’ on your device and then turn it on again after you complete your essay to see how often you misspell words. Make a list of your common errors and make sure you learn how to spell them.
Common typos and spelling errors include:
teh/ the
adn/ and
tehm/ them
thier/ their
Before you complete Writing Task 2, make sure you:
Check your writing for spelling errors
Make corrections
Don’t type too quickly
Mistake 6: Using inappropriate memorised language, phrases and clichés
The examiner is looking for memorised language, phrases and clichés. Memorised language is easy to identify, so use your own words and avoid overused phrases.
When responding to Writing Task 2, remember to:
Use your own words.
Don’t use memorised phrases such as:
Controversial topic/hot topic
Two-edged sword/double-edged sword/2 sides/faces of a coin
In a nutshell
I pen down by saying
There are pros and cons
This essay will discuss
Reasons why I hold this view
This is a highly controversial/is a highly debated issue
Avoid proverbs and clichés – ‘old is gold’
Mistake 7: Using surveys and research to support opinion
Use real examples and evidence from your own life experience to support your opinion. Examiners cannot check if your research and survey examples are real.
Make sure you present a clear position supported by examples from your own life experience. For example:
Country
Family
Job
Student experience
If you avoid these 7 mistakes, you will be well on your way to a band 7.